We're not getting any more in the foreseeable future
Shred it and forget it.
Long before dropper posts, full-suspension, and clipless pedals there was the Klunker. Proto-shredders like Charlie Kelly, Joe Breeze, and Gary Fisher took old Schwinn Excelsior cruisers, modded them out, and rode them at breakneck speeds down the mountains of Marin County, giving birth to Klunking and mountain biking as we know it. And before that was the VCCP-Velo Cross Club Parisien: Fearless Frenchies in the 1950s who rallied juiced-up 650B rando bikes on the trails outside of Paris. The Hank pours one out for all the spiritual ancestors of modern mountain biking, melding the geometry of the Schwinn Excelsior with the 650B wheel size of the VCCP rigs. It’s a dirt bike for dirt bags, a one-way ticket to scraped knees, big smiles, and bigger skids.
Low Cost. High Times.
Enhanced Skid Technology
Klunking is about simplicity. There’s no more simple pleasure than finding a dirt road, hanging it out, and kicking up a plume of dust with a well-executed skid. No cables, no levers, no problem.
Designed for a Purpose
Every detail of the Hank was considered with a singular purpose in mind: What would 15-year old me want? First, it’s steel. The main and secondary tubes utilize a revolutionary dual-hemispherical cross-section, resulting in a bike that is both laterally shreddy and vertically siiick. Our broprietary TF-73 bottom bracket interface uses a series of sloped splines, or “threads”, to firmly lock the beefy 73mm wide bottom bracket into place and optimize shredaling dynamics. The 1-⅛” steerer is over 12.5% larger than conventional 1” steerers, resulting in a bike that tracks like Jay Springsteen on a handful of bennies. It also has 650b wheels and disc tabs. You know, for the kids.
There’s a reason you don’t wear a tuxedo to a dive bar. You don’t want to worry about things staying pretty, and you don’t want to feel guilty if things get banged up. The Hank comes in two flavors: Raw Dog (clear-coated raw Cro-Mo / Hi-Ten steel) for the patina-loving purist, and Smoke On the Water (Deep Purple with metal flake) for those who like to get a little krunk when they Klunk. Dress it up. Or don’t. It’s your life.
What does it do?
It’s not graceful. It’s not fast. But it gets you where you want to go at maximum smiles-per-hour. It has two bottle cages and fits big tires. You could use it to bludgeon zombies in a pinch.
Why a coaster brake? Because skidding is awesome. But don’t be a chucklehead. Don’t ride muddy trails, and don’t ruin sweet singletrack with unnecessary skids. That’s what fireroads and 7-11 parking lots are for.
Is skidding awesome? Yes it is. But if you want to race this thing, The Man might make you run two brakes. Something about “rules”. To make it race-ready, the Hank had tabs for front and rear discs. Is racing a Hank like bringing a knife to a gunfight? Yes. A badass knife. Like the one from Cobra.
650B / 27.5
You can’t swing a cat without hitting a 650B / 27.5” mountain bike these days. They’re supposed to “have all the benefits of 26” and 29ers” blahblahblah. We don’t really care. We did it as a nod to the original 650B rando bikes used by the VCCP in the 1950s. And because we felt like it.
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Limited Options. Unlimited Fun.
It’s not routed for Di2. It’s not “aero”. You can have any color you want, as long as it’s raw steel or metallic purple. Write on it with a sharpie if you want. Get weird.
Our standard unfinished finish
Smoke on the Water
Limited Edition Deep Purple metallic flake. Be a Highway Star.
Optional Decal Sets
Use some. Or none. We don’t care.